Beta #1

This afternoon we received our first beta number. A beta blood test measured the amount of pregnancy hormone (hCG) in your blood.

Our number was awesome: 385! The nurse commented that, because I had two follicles, twins are a definite possibility with a number that high. But there's no way to know until the ultrasound. And, of course, we will be ecstatic either way.

The first beta number doesn't tell you much. It is the comparison between 2 blood tests that determine whether the pregnancy is looking good so far. My next beta is Monday, and we want the number to be at least double at that time.

Early Morning Miracle

Last Saturday, I went to lunch with some friends. At the luncheon, I suddenly felt a stabbing pain under my left lung. It was quick, but dramatic and it took my breath away. Later that day, I felt that same pain a couple more times.

The next evening (Sunday), I was laying on the couch watching TV. I am on a new progesterone supplement since I had breakthrough bleeding on the Prometrium. This new stuff (Endometrin) is *strong* and made me tired and crampy within a day or two of beginning it. Those were the only two symptoms I had noticed for the prior week.

Anyway, Sunday I was laying there when I began to feel very weird. The feeling reminded me of how I felt right after our honeymoon cruise (strange that was over 10 years ago, but I still remember this feeling). Immediately after disembarking the ship, I felt slightly nauseated, like my feet were on solid ground but my insides were still rocking. This continued all evening.

Over this week, I began to feel increasingly nauseous. I tried not to get my hopes up too much. I know the Endometrin side effects mimic pregnancy. However, I couldn't deny that I felt very different. I felt full (but still hungry), bloated and shaky inside.

My "test day" was Friday, 14 days after ovulation (and my IUI). Last night, my symptoms felt so strong I asked Ryan his thoughts on testing this morning instead. Surprisingly, he was up for it. We went to bed around 11pm.

At 3am, I woke up needing to pee very badly. I didn't want to take the test so early, especially because Ryan wanted me to wake him up and I felt bad waking him up in the middle of the night. I laid in bed for about a half hour. I couldn't wait anymore. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep until I went to the bathroom (I can't sleep with a full bladder).

Finally, I said out loud, "I'm going to test now." I was shocked to hear Ryan reply, "Thank goodness!" Apparently, he had been tossing and turning for hours, having all kinds of strange dreams, waiting for me to take that test.

The 2 lines came up pretty quickly. I wasn't incredibly surprised (with all the symptoms I've been having), but I was incredibly grateful. Ryan said a prayer of gratitude immediately after we saw the results. Needless to say, we never went back to bed!

We are so thankful for those special priesthood blessings and our friends and family who fasted for us earlier this month. I didn't expressly tell people this, but that was the Sunday before our IUI. We feel so blessed.

Now the waiting game begins. We want nothing more than for this child to join our family sometime around September 30th. :) But that is in Heavenly Father's hands. Having experienced a miscarriage before, I know nothing is guaranteed, and I am just grateful for today.

IUI Time

This IUI went fairly smooth. There was a little problem getting the catheter inserted but once everything was in place, it seemed to go well. I went home and rested afterward, as there was quite a bit of pain and cramping for several hours following.

And now we wait!

Mid-Cycle Ultrasound

A couple days ago, I commented to Ryan how perfect it would be if I only had a couple eggs this cycle (rather than seven like last time). I could "enjoy" the cycle as much as possible, without the pain of swollen ovaries and the worry of higher order multiples. They had lowered my dosage this time around so I was hopeful.

My wish came true during today's appointment.

Ryan was able to go with me, which I so appreciated. It is fun when he comes. We watch 30Rock episodes on my iPhone in the waiting room and I get to watch his goofy antics while we wait in the examining room.

Nurse M did my ultrasound. Sure enough, I had 2 little eggs on my right (too small to be worth much) and 2 more mature eggs on my left side. One egg was 20mm and the other 14mm (smaller, but big enough to fertilize once ovulation rolls around).

The IUI is scheduled for Friday!

Thanks, Santa! (Base Ultrasound)

For Christmas, Santa brought me my period.

Well, not exactly, but being off the hormones did cause the spotting to return. I spotted for several days before Day 1, including on Christmas. :( It's strange... Day 1 is always right on schedule; it's the spotting before Day 1 that frustrates me.

When my period finally came last Tuesday, I called the doctor's office and made an appointment for my base ultrasound later that morning. Ryan and I were both on vacation, so he was able to come along. Nurse H did the ultrasound and asked how my "month off" was. I told her the break was nice, but I was very excited to get back and try again. She laughed and said that was obvious, and they all thought it was cute that I called the morning of Day 1, ready to come in right away. Hey, what can I say, I am anxious to be a mom!

The ultrasound went well. No cysts to be found. I got my doctor's orders and found they are switching it up a bit.

They actually decreased my Follistim dosage. I guess the *7* medium to large eggs I had last time scared them off a bit. This time I am doing 100iu for 1 day, 75iu for 5 days. Mid-cycle ultrasound is next Wednesday.

We are also ditching the Prometrium and turning to Endometrium for Progesterone. Now that medicine costs a pretty penny. At $5 a pill, 3 pills a day... you can do the math. This is in addition to the cost of Follistim, Ovidril, ultrasounds and the IUI. But there has been break-thru spotting during the last 2 cycles on the Prometrium, so what else can we do? I don't want to look back and wonder if this was the missing piece.

We have also been thinking a lot about our next step, should this cycle not work. Do we try a 6th time with Follistim or move on to IVF? No final decisions have been made, but we are leaning toward stopping the Follistim treatments. It is not an easy decision, especially because I got pregnant on this treatment. So who's to say that can't happen again? Even so, from the very beginning we agreed on 5 Follistim cycles, so it seems natural to stop after this one.

Of course, I am hoping I won't have to make that decision...

Ryan is not feeling very hopeful about this cycle at all. I have to admit, deep down in the pit of my stomach I am having doubts too. But I am trying to push those away and think positively.

Tonight, we began our fast. Fasting is very difficult for me to do while on the Follistim. I have to do a water-only fast, as the medicine requires I drink an insane amount of water or the side effects can be debilitating. I am fasting from food however. I know there are close family and a few friends fasting with us and I am so grateful for that. Beyond grateful. We are so blessed.

We began our fast with a prayer, pouring out to God our deepest desire but asking for comfort to accept His will, whatever that may be. It's in His hands now.